Wellbeing Wisdom Tiny Bites

Have you ever loved someone very differently than they loved you? Or maybe they didn’t even love you?

Being in love with someone is such a good feeling, right up until it isn’t. We’re at our best when we’re loving – we’re holding someone in the best possible light, seeing their virtues and not their flaws, we’re considering the object of our affection in our daily decisions, and we’re focused on helping make their life sweeter or easier or better.

When those feelings and actions aren’t reciprocated, it doesn’t feel very...

Have you ever heard the saying, “you don’t really know someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes”? It’s a visual way to describe trying to understand someone else’s life, point of view, and motivations, and it’s great as far as it goes.

You will never really know someone, no matter how long you’ve known them and no matter how many things you’ve been through together. You can know a lot about them, and you’ll never know enough to be able to perfectly predict their actions and feelings.

It’s the same...

Have you been the topic of gossip? Do you have a pulse?

Both answers are the same – if you’re alive, someone somewhere at some time has talked about you with someone else. Gossip is a way for people to exchange information, to bolster their own sense of importance, and to create or deepen social bonds.

Eleanor Roosevelt is quoted as saying, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” She was on to something that psychologists and researchers are now discovering – people with a high level of emotional intelligence spend the least...

Have you lived long enough to have been through a major life change that was upsetting? Losing a loved one, losing a marriage, losing a job you loved or a house you loved – there are a lot of different types of trauma and it’s part of the human condition that we go through a few between the time we’re born and the time we die.

There are people who are very focused on discussing the traumas in life, and when they’re with you, once they’ve gotten tired of talking about their own traumatic past, mayb...

I was talking to a friend the other day. She’d just been let go by a company she’d worked for since before this century began.

She was mad. Very mad. Seriously mad.

As she vented to me, she was playing out scenarios of how she could get back at the person who fired her and at the so-large-everyone-in-the-world-knows-their-name corporation that released her. I let her talk. She didn’t want or need my advice, she just needed to spew.

When she ran out of steam, she asked, “What now?”

Great ques...

As you live more life by virtue of being alive, you learn things. You learn things about the world, about how you currently show up in the world, and even about how you want to show up in the world.

You learn things about other people, too – maybe you learn that some of them really love you, and some of them just love what you will do for them. You start to notice that some people don’t respect your boundaries or maybe don’t even acknowledge your right to set boundaries. You start to notice that being...

Do you work with someone who often reminds you of your limitations? Or maybe they shine a spotlight on your shortcomings or mistakes?

How do you feel about yourself when they’re around? Timid…like an imposter … like your self-confidence suddenly all leaked out of you?

They know what you’re capable of and they feel threatened. When someone who lacks the confidence to succeed on their own merits feels threatened, they look for a target to take down.

When you’re the target, you should feel more self-confident, not less – this person sees your po...

When was the last time you chose how to feel?

We usually just feel how we feel and deal with it, and that’s not how you have to live your feelings. You can choose them, just like you choose your outfit each day.

In our everyday language we often say things like, “she’s so rude – she makes me so mad!” Think about it, though – is she the one making you mad, really? No – it’s your perception of her actions that’s triggering the anger.

This is really great news, because it means that if i...

I experimented in my kitchen today. I had some wraps that tasted good but had a weird texture, some veggies that were about to go around the corner, some red sauce from my favorite Italian restaurant, cottage cheese, eggs, and spices. I created a veggie lasagna that is soooo good I want to eat it for the rest of my life.

I’ll never be able to recreate this wonderful concoction because I made it up and didn’t write it down.

Does that kind of thing ever happen to you – you get creative, make someth...

You accidentally ran a red light and no fiery car crash occurred. Your computer crashed in the middle of creating a big project and when you booted back up, the project was all there. You tripped on the sidewalk, yet you didn’t fall and break any bones.

What’s the big deal, you may ask? Those are things that happen in our lives often enough that we take them for granted.

Don’t.  

Believe in miracles. What if each and every of those mundane things was a miracle in your life? Because you know it coul...