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Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't

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Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't

A show about plants as viewed through the lens of evolution and ecology with a side of deranged ranting, crass humor, occasional profanity, & the perpetual search for the filthiest taqueria bathroom. Plant ecology, systematics, taxonomy, floral chemistry, biogeography and more.Joey Santore was a degenerate railroader for 15 years during which he taught himself Botany by reading textbooks and research papers in the cab of the locomotive while stealing time from work. He has traveled to 11 different countries studying plant communities. He is the host of the YouTube channel Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't and the host of the show Kill...

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Recent Episodes of Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't


Mycology Catch-Up w/ Alan Rockefeller

Mycology Catch-Up w/ Alan Rockefeller

Alan Rockefeller is a mycologist and educator who has been studying mushrooms all over the world for the past 20 years and recently helped described two new species of Psilocybin mushroom from South Africa. He has helped numerous "citizen scientists" learn to DNA barcode fungi and led hundreds of free mushroom identification walks throughout North America. Alan encourages community science, free education and in addition is one of the kindest human beings I know. Also, one time in Mexico we almost both got trapped on top of a freezing mesa together.

Website on Alan's DNA Barcoding Basics:

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Episode 7 July 2024 1h, 56m and 46s


Dr. Daniela Zappi - Brazilian Plant Ecology

Dr. Daniela Zappi - Brazilian Plant Ecology

Dr. Daniela Cristina Zappi is a Brazilian botanist, plant collector, and research scientist at the herbarium of the Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew noted for studying and describing Neotropical flora, Rubiaceae, and Cactaceae. She has described over 90 species, most recently a new species in the cactus genus Uebelmannia (U.nuda). 

In this episode of Crime Pays, we discuss the different biomes and plant communities of Brazil, what "ecological islands" are, the biogeography of the cactus family, bat pollination in Pilosocereus, edaphic endemism in "ironstone" habitats of Northern Brazil and how iron-rich soils affect the evolution of the plants that g...

Episode 3 July 2024 1h, 50m and 56s


Zoe Schlanger, Author of The Light Eaters

Zoe Schlanger, Author of The Light Eaters

Zoe Schlanger is the author of newly released book "The Light Eaters", which shines a new light on researchers studying plant "intelligence" and behavior.

Episode 27 June 2024 1h, 45m and 57s


Texas Botany with Michael Eason

Texas Botany with Michael Eason

The state of Texas is one of the most diverse states for plants (and geology) in the US, and contains a large number of plant species that can't be found anywhere else in the United States, yet at the same time an enormous amount of land and plant habitat is being destroyed every day (240,000 acres a year) ,pushing more than a few plant species towards population decline.

This episode is a conversation with botanist and author Michael Eason from San Antonio Botanic Garden about plant conservation in Texas, why the Edwards Plateau is so special, walking the sometimes...

Episode 24 June 2024 1h, 53m and 55s


Andrew "The Arborist" Conboy

Andrew "The Arborist" Conboy

In this we talk with Andrew Conboy about street trees, urban forestry, habitat restoration, getting stoked on native plant life and how it's practical more than puritanical, Philly, botanic gardens, and more.

Episode 18 June 2024 1h, 31m and 9s


Guanajuato, Mexico Recap Part 2 - Floristic Affinities & Biogeography

Guanajuato, Mexico Recap Part 2 - Floristic Affinities & Biogeography

Two hours of rants about wonderful plants in Central Mexico. A follow-up to the previous episode and a description of plant species, taxonomic affinities and habitats encountered in the mountains of Querétaro and Guanajuato States, Mexico. Also a brief gear list and explanation of the various tools used when botanizing desert mountains.

Why the genus Garrya (the silktassels) is so cool,
A new Astrolepis sp. (Undescribed)
Stevia pyrolifolia (Asteraceae) - it's waxy-as$ leaves at 10,000 feet
Dyscritothamnus filifolius (Asteraceae) and the limestone cliffs and sketchy roads it inhabits

Vallesia glabra (Apocynaceae)
Spondias p...

Episode 13 June 2024 1h, 55m and 44s


Central Mexico Recap & Habitat Summary

Central Mexico Recap & Habitat Summary

This episode sponsored by Fiberpad, where you can glue duct-taped wheatgrass and fiberglass to your face in order to clear up any blemishes nice. What can limestone do for you and how does it form?

A long, winding rant through the mountains of Querétaro about habitats and species encountered at elevations between 6,000' and 10,000' including:
Karwinskia humboldtiana (Rhamnaceae)
Baccharis conferta (Asteraceae)
Penstemon campanulatus (Plantaginaceae)
 Ariocarpus kotschoubeyanus (Cactaceae)
Kadenicarpus pseudomacrochele (Cactaceae)
Isolatocereus dumortieri (Cactaceae)
Opuntia stenopetala (Cactaceae)
Pinguicula moranensis (Lentibulariaceae)
Quercus crassipes (Fagaceae)
Agave salmiana subsp. crassispina (As...

Episode 11 June 2024 1h, 45m and 54s


Pollination Systems & Bird Pollination with Jeff Ollerton

Pollination Systems & Bird Pollination with Jeff Ollerton

Jeff Ollerton is a pollination biologist and researcher based out of the EU and currently working in KunMing, Yunnan Province, China. He has written two excellent books - one entitled "Pollinators and Pollination" and another entitled "Birds and Flowers" about birds as pollinators. In this nearly two hour long conversation we talk about a variety of taxa as well as ecological phenomena. I am still kicking myself for forgetting to bring up the topic of the South African monocot genus Strelitzia (Order Zingiberales) which has a weighted-lever-mechanism that allows only birds to access the stamens.

Episode 28 May 2024 2h, 9m and 27s


Rio Grande Valley Botany with Ernest Herrera

Rio Grande Valley Botany with Ernest Herrera

In this episode we talk with field botanist Ernest Herrera about the rich floristic diversity of the Rio Grande Valley region of South Texas and Northern Mexico. We talk about a variety of cool plant species as well as the cultural history and cultural repression of this unique region, how it will adapt to climate change, how to change culture in order to get people to start appreciating their native flora more, how to convince people to kill their lawns, what happened to horned lizards, what's up with Texas Tortoises, and a sh*t ton more.

Ernest Herrera...

Episode 25 May 2024 1h, 58m and 14s


Central Texas Orchids, Limestone sinkholes, New Aster species

Central Texas Orchids, Limestone sinkholes, New Aster species



In this episode we talk about why plant "rescue" is a bullshit term, how Epipactis is probably pollinated hoverflies that it dupes, whats up with this new species of Asteraceae discovered in the Chihuahua desert, why people who don't know much about botany or ecology initially prefer non-native plants orver native ones, best place to get a Texas toast waffle machine, stealing a bus bin from Olive Garden, etc

Note : I mistakenly say Deb "described" this new species of composite. I meant to say "discovered". Blame my sleep deficit gfy

Episode 22 May 2024 1h, 51m and 31s

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