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The Fifth Column

Brought to you by, Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, and Matt Welch

https://skillpiper.com/share/356090797

The Fifth Column

Your weekly rhetorical assault on the on the news cycle, the people who make it, and occasionally ourselves. Kmele Foster (Freethink), Michael Moynihan (Vice), and Matt Welch (Reason) talk and laugh and drink their way to at least quasi-sanity in a world gone mad, often with the aid of clean and articulate guests. Weekly Members Only subscription edition often comes with listener mail and professional-quality (if inappropriate) singing. Analysis. Commentary. Sedition. www.wethefifth.com

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Recent Episodes of The Fifth Column


#436 - Forget It. Joe Biden Has Been Cured Of Being Super Old

#436 - Forget It. Joe Biden Has Been Cured Of Being Super Old

The lads make it through Biden’s presser, watch a bit of state television after, listen to the Mike Tyson’s Punch Out soundtrack, and limbo below the lowest bar in the history of low bars.



This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.wethefifth.com/subscribe

Episode 12 July 2024 1h, 16m and 16s


Members Only #217 - ☑ The Flag of the Fifth ☑

Members Only #217 - ☑ The Flag of the Fifth ☑

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com

* Wizards of Transnistria

* Checking the box

* A festival of freedom?

* More old stuff

* France and the media

* Brain dead v. Hitler

* It didn’t end in 2008, but it proved a lot

* What a dictator is… and isn’t

* An accent free pass

* The best video ever: Fuck you bloody

Episode 10 July 2024 18m and 51s


#462 - SCOTUS Interruptus (w/ Damon Root)

#462 - SCOTUS Interruptus (w/ Damon Root)

It’s an Independence Day Miracle (if a few days delinquent). As another US Supreme Court term draws to a close, we tap in with our favorite SCOTUS obsessive, Damon Root (currently Freethink/Big Think, previous Reason, and author of books you really should buy).

We discuss Presidential absolute immunity, Chevron deference, the pitiful state of SCOTUS journalism, and the obviously-super-serious effort in the US Congress to impeach/pack/scorn the highest court in the land on account of its *various crimes against democracy* (or something like that).ALSO: Frederick Douglass's on Independence Day… and Juneteenth?!

“W...

Episode 8 July 2024 59m and 28s


Members Only #216 - Unbearable and Untenable

Members Only #216 - Unbearable and Untenable

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com

* Miracles of indigenous science

* Why is Matt talking about Kevin Costner so much?

* Aaron Sorkin solves January 6th

* Norm on Bob Uecker

* Matt revisits his…bad night

* The Biden sitch

* James Carville on masculinity and “communities of color”

* How do you guys manage to watch this crap?

* QAnon all the time

* Sam and Diane, but not funny

* The block of humans called...

Episode 2 July 2024 20m and 11s


Members Only 🔓 UNLOCKED 🔓 #215 - The Hindenburg Debate, The Hindenburg Fifth Recording, and The View From Atlanta (w/ Alex Thompson)

Members Only 🔓 UNLOCKED 🔓 #215 - The Hindenburg Debate, The Hindenburg Fifth Recording, and The View From Atlanta (w/ Alex Thompson)

Oh dear. Yeah, that debate. Obviously. One would have to be a very successful, very delusional Substacker to think otherwise. But the night was about to get much, much worse. Moynihan, Welch, and Friend of the Fifth (former Rep.) Peter Meijer decided to record a quick reaction pod at 1am, after a collective 542 drinks. That…didn’t work. And that’s not what you are about to hear, although some devious editor appears to have dropped random clips of one particular Fifth host (Matt) into this episode, purely to bully him and amuse our bullying listeners. So as Welch recove...

Episode 28 June 2024 43m and 12s


#461 - Trump/Biden II, Electric Boogaloo

#461 - Trump/Biden II, Electric Boogaloo

So our podcasting platform just launched an AI feature that scans your recording and automatically generates “show notes.” We gave it it try. These are the results, with a few important corrections.

“The conversation begins with some light banter and discussion about rap music. [Human ed note: This was before we started, so it isn’t included in the episode, but it did feature Kmele speculating about John Lennon shooting Bob Dylan]. They then transition to talking about the upcoming presidential debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. They discuss the format of the debate and their expectat...

Episode 27 June 2024 1h, 18m and 42s


Members Only #214 - Sunday *Bloody* Sunday

Members Only #214 - Sunday *Bloody* Sunday

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com

Every second Sunday of the month, the lads fire up Zoom and do a (mostly) Q&A show for subscribers only. It’s very fun, often a bit messy and chaotic, and full of listeners expressing love, disbelief, dismay, and often delivering Strom Thurmond- like filibusters. So for you subscribers who couldn’t make it on June 9, we revive the Zoom recording just to…

Episode 26 June 2024 23m and 41s


Members Only #213 - I Don't Know About Y'all...

Members Only #213 - I Don't Know About Y'all...

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.wethefifth.com

* Imagine if Bill Cosby was an Islamophobic dog

* Cringefest in the Bronx

* Jamal and AOC

* Sleeve rolled up, stool in hand, unemployment on the horizon

* AIPAC is everywhere!

* Violent psycho extremists for peace

* The war won’t end until Jake Tapper’s kids are properly harassed

* Shift back to the center, Dems

* Laying hands on homeless people

* Homeopathy is fake, btw

* Geni...

Episode 24 June 2024 19m and 50s


#460 - The Return of Ol' Icy Balls

#460 - The Return of Ol' Icy Balls

After a very brief hiatus—apologies, but all is explained in the first five minutes of this episode—the lads are back. And there will be a flood of new content in the coming days, to make up for our testicular tardiness (also explained in the first five minutes of this episode). Also note: this episode was plagued by technical difficulties, but we hope, through the magic of editing, that you won’t notice.

* The procedure

* The politicization of late night continues apace

* This is our territory

* Alt weeklies that weren’t alt <...

Episode 21 June 2024 1h, 18m and 2s


#459 - The Horns of Hamas / Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (w/ Olivia Reingold)

#459 - The Horns of Hamas / Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (w/ Olivia Reingold)

* Getting Drudged

* Getting the spray

* This new color isn’t working

* Olivia amongst the Hamasniks in Union Square

* Tearing up notebooks, airhorns in the ear…stuck in the middle of a protest

* Hey hey ho ho shitty chants have got to go

* Did any journalists reach out?

* What if this was a Trump rally?

* Legally blonde

* You’ll be in a Trump camp

* “Racial conspiracy theories”

* I mean, you gotta understand where they’re coming from…



This...

Episode 14 June 2024 1h, 29m and 5s

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