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Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher

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Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher

Exploring how we heal and thrive beyond codependency, neglect, and narcissistic abuse.

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Recent Episodes of Heal Your Codependency with Marshall Burtcher


Becoming Your Own Protector To Nurture Secure Attachment

Becoming Your Own Protector To Nurture Secure Attachment

Being neglected, being abused, being shoved into the world without guidance, care, shelter, or protection wired our attachment systems to be on high alert and braced for danger.

Depending on what feels safest, your attachment system may try to control external things, resulting in anxious attachment.

Or it may choose to avoid the threat all together and be needless and "independent", creating avoidant attachment.

Or, if you're like me, you might experience high levels of anxiety about approaching what you need and strong desires to run away and avoid it, causing you to...

Episode 10 July 2024 15m and 37s


Emotional Perfectionism:  Making sure you feel the "right" things, not the real things

Emotional Perfectionism: Making sure you feel the "right" things, not the real things

Emotional Perfectionism, Part One:  Making sure you feel the "right" things, not the real things

I define emotional perfectionism as the rigid habit of feeling what one "should feel" in order to satisfy the real or perceived expectations of others.

It is a sub-type of General Perfectionism, where behaviors and expressions are tailored to meet external expectations. This is a codependency behavior designed to help procure safety, belonging, and worth.

Emotional perfectionism shows up as:

- Ignoring what you actually feel and forcing yourself to feel differently about something 

...

Episode 27 June 2024 11m and 27s


The Three Phases Of Exiting Codependency: Creation Phase - Where you create a life you enjoy

The Three Phases Of Exiting Codependency: Creation Phase - Where you create a life you enjoy

Creation Phase is where you arrive with the ability to determine what kind of experiences you want to have, and then using your personal power, intuition, and skills, go out and receive those experiences.

This all depends on knowing what you *actually* want, not what you think you want (which is often a product of trauma controling things rather than a genuine alignment within ourselves).

This phase is all about understanding, creating, and following the alignments that lead you to outcomes are what you want.

Learn how I make that happen in todays...

Episode 21 June 2024 8m and 12s


The Three Phases Of Exiting Codependency: Healing Phase - Where you grow into your real self

The Three Phases Of Exiting Codependency: Healing Phase - Where you grow into your real self

The Healing Phase is the deep work of unbecoming your codependency and discovering who you are beyond your pain, trauma, and survival self. 

This is where we develop the necessary skills, experience and expertise we didn't get growing up, along with amplifying our safety, our belonging, and deeply embodying our self-worth.

Learn how I work with this phase and how you can start to in your life in today's episode.

The Tool:  https://sir.freetheself.com


*** START YOUR WORK BY JOINING THE COMMUNITY

Are you seeking guidance in na...

Episode 19 June 2024 10m and 2s


The Three Phases Of Exiting Codependency: Survival Phase - Where you start your journey

The Three Phases Of Exiting Codependency: Survival Phase - Where you start your journey

Survival is the phase we all start in.  It is the phase where we realize our codependency and begin the big work of healing that codependency and become who we actually are.

This phase is noted by the presents of:

- Anxiety
- Shame
- Freeze and fawn impulses in the body
- Feeling depressed, collapsed, powerless 
- People-pleasing, perfectionism, avoiding conflict to keep the peace, and more

Learn what I do with this phase and how to exit it in today's episode!

The Tool:  https://drp.fre...

Episode 13 June 2024 15m and 30s


Is It Time To Quit?  The Uncanny Power of Quitting To Accelerate Your Healing

Is It Time To Quit? The Uncanny Power of Quitting To Accelerate Your Healing

Quitting - It is necessary in the healing journey.

Quitting relationships.

Quitting fixing.

Quitting chasing fantasy outcomes.

Quitting.

It makes space for new, healthy outcomes to come into your life.

It makes it possible for you to face the pain that needs the loving care of your attention and loving care of community so it can heal.

Quitting.

That is what we explore in this week's episode.

*** START YOUR WORK BY JOINING THE COMMUNITY

Are you seeking guidance in...

Episode 6 June 2024 12m and 32s


Why you only love yourself when things are going well

Why you only love yourself when things are going well

Episode: Why you only love yourself when things are going well

When we live from a love equation that says "I'm only lovable when...", we are being controlled and manipulated.  This leads us to invest precious time, energy, and attention on satisfying these conditions and then *maintaining* them.

No wonder we burn out!

Learn what do about this in today's episode:


*** START YOUR WORK

Looking for more guidance, tools, support, in your healing, alignment, and satisfaction?

Start your work here: https://join.freetheself.com

** C...

Episode 23 May 2024 8m and 28s


Two Hidden Factors That Short Circuit Your Self-Love

Two Hidden Factors That Short Circuit Your Self-Love

Two Hidden Factors That Short Circuit Your Self-Love

Really, actually loving yourself is a profound challenge when we come from codependency and love-is-earned relationship and family systems. We are striving to earn the love, earn the permission, become worthy, and demostrate that we deserve it.

To break out of this prison, you need to understand the two hidden factors that keep you chasing love.

We explore these factors in today's episode!


*** START YOUR WORK

Looking for more guidance, tools, support, in your healing, alignment, and satisfaction?

...

Episode 15 May 2024 10m and 42s


The ONE thing that absolutely prevents you from loving yourself

The ONE thing that absolutely prevents you from loving yourself

Episode:  The ONE thing that absolutely prevents you from loving yourself

Transaction, earned love teaches us that we must - MUST - seek, chase, and perform for love.

This means we have to be "just right" in the eyes of the other or we won't get love.

This means that when there are challenges, problems, hiccups, mistakes, love is in jeopardy.

This means we start LIVING like we're always just on the edge of losing love.

And that results in:

- Anxiety about what others feel and t...

Episode 8 May 2024 8m and 27s


Why You Struggle To Really, Actually Love Yourself

Why You Struggle To Really, Actually Love Yourself

Why You Struggle To Really, Actually Love Yourself

When you're rewarded with praise, attention, or affection for doing something, your body will see performance and love as the same thing.

When you're presence is met with warmth, praise, attention, or affection on a consistent basis, your body will see your existence and love as the same thing. 

You deserve to know the second form of love.

Learn what is really going on and your first step in really, actually loving yourself in today's episode:


*** START YOUR WORK

Episode 2 May 2024 13m and 20s

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